Core Counselling - discover your true self

Relationships

Healthy Boundaries

Healthy boundaries are the fences that keep us safe – something we may not have experienced in childhood. Take a moment to consider the boundaries in your childhood home? Did others respect your physical and emotional boundaries? Were you able to set boundaries with others? Most often, we were not taught to consider our needs […]

Relationship Dynamics

Why does our partner bug us after a while? Why do we tend to become ‘like my mom’ or feel like the ‘parent’ or ‘child’ in the relationship? When we are in that ‘falling in love stage,’ a part of us leaps into ‘the wild blue yonder’ – somewhere far away and exciting; a place largely based upon […]

The Brain in Love

Romantic love is associated with the early phases of a relationship – the ‘falling in love’ stage. This love is based on attraction and is characterized by euphoria, focused attention, and obsessive thinking about the person. These symptoms are attributed to increased levels of certain neurotransmitters – specifically dopamine – which have the same effect […]

Communication: Is Anyone Listening?

Often during conversations we feel we are not fully understood by the listener. Over time, this lack of being heard can lead to feelings of disconnect, ‘Why bother say anything in the first place?’ frustration, self-doubt, and arguments. It takes both a good speaker and a good listener to make meaningful connections. We can start with some […]

The Best Communication Style

Virgina Satir noted that people tend to communicate using a certain style when relating with others: Placater, Blamer, Computer and Distractor. Men tend to be Blamers and Computers; while women tend to be Placaters and Distractors. A fifth style, the Leveller, is the ideal communication style. Levellers, used by 4.5 percent of people, are congruent […]

How Best to Disclose in Relationships

With the emancipated woman and the long-gone presence of chaperones, these days there are few dating rules.  We post our profiles on internet dating sites, blurt too much to an attractive stranger, and find ourselves regretting jumping into a relationship (or bed); all which indicate a rapid disclosing of self to a potential romantic “Other.” […]

The Relationship Game

We all desire personal relationships; those in which there is mutual enjoyment of each other and a place where both parties can ‘be themselves’ in the moment. However, most of us do not live in the moment, but rather, in yonder and in pursuit of the next or near future happening. This (usually) unconscious wandering […]

The Perils of Mind Reading

Mind reading occurs when we place onto others what we think they are thinking or feeling. Without their telling us, we believe we know what people are feeling and why they are acting the way they do. Mind reading relies upon a process called projection. Mind readers jump to conclusions that are true for themselves […]

Revisiting Our Families

For the most part, we end up in a ‘family’ – whether biological or adoptive. It is a place we call ‘home’, or at least, a place we associate with childhood, with some type of authority or caretaking figures. A healthy family environment provides children with a sense of physical security (food, shelter, bed, clothes), […]

The Importance of Being Detached

At times we may find ourselves repeatedly talking about our adult children’s problems with friends or our partner. We may spend excessive amounts of time and energy worrying about and trying to solve someone else’s problems or may even be trying to change others. In relationships, we may feel the need to please or do […]

Diane Hancox, MA, CCC provides counselling services to Parksville, Qualicum Beach, Nanaimo and Vancouver Island.